Yesterday, I made up the bed of a 6 year old that will never sleep in it again.
Today, I was baptized.
One weekend. Two events. One more heartbreaking than anything I have done before. The other, a glorious celebration and public declaration of my faith in Jesus Christ and my desire to serve him with my life.
It has been one emotional weekend. Tragic and Beautiful.
Yesterday we helped friends of ours, who had lost their 6 year old son in a tragic accident last month, move into their new home. I stood shoulder to shoulder with parents who have experienced the most agonizing life event and one that we all fear.....the loss of a child. I wanted so desperately to take their pain away and bring back their loud, carefree laughter. I wished I could wipe away that look in their eyes that tells of an indescribable pain and haunting ache. I wished I could give back to them what they had lost. But I couldn't. All I could do was move boxes, pack a fridge, make up a bed, pick up lunch, and just be heartbroken with them.
Today, I stepped forward in front of witnesses and declared my personal relationship with Jesus Christ and my desire to share this good news! The setting and the morning were a perfect symphony of his creation. Not only did the sun make it's splendid appearance, but the moon also stayed around for the event. All of nature seemed to celebrate! The very rocks cried out! Perhaps I said it best in my written testimony to the leadership and pastors that baptized me with the following email: "My walk with the Lord and my dependence on Him considerably deepened this year with the adoption of our son, Jacob, from China. In the months that followed, I began to come face to face with what a sinful, selfish "wretch" I was. During this time, my feelings of hopelessness and shame threatened to take away the joy that living as a daughter of the King promises. It was at this time that I immersed myself deeply into God's word, I breathed in his promises, and clung desperately to the forgiveness He has given us. Never have I been so connected to my own sinfulness, and so reliant on the Grace that He gives. God has been ripening me all year and baptism seemed like the perfect next step. I have wanted to be baptized as an adult, but there has always been an excuse. Lately, it's been, "but I don't want to be baptized in front of a congregation I don't know." Then, Pastor David, asked last week what barrier might we have to baptism that would be more important than our obedience. I knew that answer....nothing. This has been my year of trust and obedience to the Lord. I have wrestled with obedience too long (hence, the name of our son, Jacob), and I think I said it best in my blog where I have been chronicling our adoption journey: 'In light of my gratefulness for his redemptive work on the cross, I can respond with nothing other than obedience to what might seem hard and inconvenient. It's nothing compared to what I have in my Savior. Our journey to our son started with our physical adoption but has taken me to far deeper places, my spiritual adoption. Where Jesus Christ redeemed me and took back what was rightfully his. The way ahead promises to be hard, but my joy and my transformation are greater.' "
Two profound, life imprinting events in one weekend. One tragic and one beautiful? No, both tragic, and both beautiful for the one similarity they hold: the hope we have through the grace God has given in His son, Jesus Christ.
Over two thousand years ago, Jesus Christ died on the cross for the sins of the world. In this tragic AND beautiful event, God redeemed what was his own. Because of it, I can be assured that our friends son is in the arms of a loving Savior, and I, too, attest that I shall be there as well. Today, I stood in that water to tell the world of my love for the Savior. I stood to say that my life had been changed and that even in the midst of unspeakable tragedy, there is a God that loves us so much, that He designed a way that we can be together with our Creator as well as each other. In the midst of their tragedy, that is likely the only thing that can bring them hope.....the gift of the Savior. Today, I stood in testimony to that. To that beautiful gift given to me, to you, and to them.
Two events. Tragic and Beautiful.
Before I close, I want to thank my dear husband for standing by me and assisting in my baptism today. I have been blessed to be part of your spiritual transformations as I watched you give your life to Christ when we were in high school and then be baptized the day before our marriage. It was a gift to share this one with you. Thank you for forever being one of my three strands (Ecclesiastes 4:12.)
