Joy to the World

Joy to the world.

It has been a wonderful Christmas season.  We have been focusing on one of God's greatest gifts.....family.  I love watching how our family has morphed and changed over the years.  Some have gone home to be seen again in the sweet bye and bye and one long awaited little one we will get to meet early in 2013.  Of course, there was a special air of celebration as we welcomed Jacob to his first Christmas season.

We spent Christmas out of town at my sisters home.  It was a blessing to be surrounded by family who has supported us through all stages of our adoption and have enjoyed getting to know our new little man.  Jacob did surprisingly well once our routines were reestablished in our new environment. 

At my sister's and brother in law's church I was especially blessed by the message from Pastor Eric who spoke on joy.  One thing he said has stuck with me and I dwell on it often.....that joy is not a result of our current situation or our emotions, it is a gift from God. 

Joy is a fruit of the Spirit and we cannot know true joy apart from Christ.  He offers a joy that lasts beyond a few presents opened on Christmas day.  Joy is not dependent on one's bank account, health, or amount of facebook friends.  Christ offers a joy that goes beyond the material things that bring us happiness on earth.  It is a joy you feel down to the tip of your toes, you hear in the early bird's song, and brings you life in the midst of fear and shame.  It is a joy that whispers in your ear it's love for you when you don't have the courage to face another day. 

It is hope for our blended and newly created families.  Adopting Jacob has allowed me to experience and recognize even more my sinfulness and unworthiness, but has increased exponentially my gratitude (and my joy!) for my Savior.  My heart is bursting at the seams with the joy given to us that first Christmas day. 

Update on Jacob:

We had a huge week of appointments leading up to Christmas and here is where we now stand:

Early Intervention: Three lovely ladies came out to do Jacob's developmental  assessment.  Let me tell you, these ladies breathed life and love into me as they doted over our son and "oohed" and "aahed" at the things he was doing.  They were positive, encouraging, and great with Jacob.  When the time came to share the results with me, instead of giving me a laundry list of things Jacob couldn't do, they told me, "Well, you qualify for our services and it makes the most sense to send in speech therapy."  Starting early January, she will be coming to our home once a week to work on developmental skills but focusing on speech, oral desensitization, feeding, and she will help work on strategies to wean Jacob from the bottle before surgery.

Pediatric Dentist: Good news!  Jacob's teeth look good.  We will begin seeing him every six months and are blessed that he has a specialty in working with cleft lip/palate children.  We have been able to begin brushing Jacob's teeth and despite that he doesn't like it (and I suspect his mouth is pretty sensitive to just the feel of the bristles), he opens his mouth without much of a struggle.  We will not know if Jacob will get his front teeth but the dentist will help us maneuver these waters when the time comes (I believe that involves a bone graft from the hip and implants but we're just hoping for front teeth!)  He told us to prepare for a good relationship with an orthodontist someday.

Cleft Lip and Palate team: This was a long day at the Cincinnati Children's Hospital.  It started with an ENT where hearing tests revealed mild to moderate hearing loss.  They suspect this is due to chronic ear infections and recommended he receive tubes which they will place during his lip and palate surgery.  They hope his hearing will improve once these are placed.  We then headed to genetics where they educated and prepared us for surgery and gave us some interesting information on institutionalized children and development.  We will be continuing to see them during follow ups with the cleft team.  They also gave us some feeding suggestions and special cups Jacob will need to be using pre and post surgery.  We then headed to see the doctor who has been greatly praised in our community for his work on cleft children in Cincinnati......Dr. Billmire, our plastic surgeon.  He made us laugh the minute he walked in the room and said to Jacob, "Well son, looks like we have a lot of work to do."  After assessing Jacob, he decided he will be trying to repair both the lip and palate in one surgery.  Otherwise, if he starts the surgery and decides not to do the palate, that will be done a few months down the road. 

What about Jacob?  Well, we are all making progress.  I knew this when I was sitting at the salon yesterday in blue foils and a shower cap reading the children's hospital surgical guide.  I couldn't stop the tears when I was reading about the anesthesia and began to think about the procedure.  It was almost unbearable to think about sending him into the OR alone, or surgery for that matter.  We are doing the work of bonding as a family.  Jacob has made his own progress as we have watched him seek out our eye contact in unknown situations and seek out our attention to share his interests. He has an adorable personality and we are working through finding healthy ways to get our attention (he seems to have a "knack" with finding negative ways to get attention.)  We have been blessed to have this time with him and are thankful we didn't rush into surgery when we arrived home.  Lots of work to be done, but God is the provider of the joy in the midst of the work! 

Joy to the world, the Lord has come!

Adoption. Is. Hard.

This week I was reading a magazine put out by Focus on the Family.  Since November was adoption month, it was highlighting "realities" of adoption from real families.  One woman said something I think I will remember for the rest of my life.  She said adoption was not a destination, it was a journey. 

Looking back over our long wait I can see where all our dreams and hopes rested on what we thought would come to fruition on the day Jacob was placed in our arms.  It looked something like this: He would be given to us and suddenly the heavens would open.  A beam of light would shine down on him and a voice would say, "This is your son, in him I am well pleased."  (Haven't I heard that somewhere?)  There would be a new star in the sky for him, a new Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavor would be dedicated to him, and our family would be perfectly happy and complete.  Then reality hits and we find our home is actually in a state of confusion, disillusionment, and often repentance and shame.  Adoption is hard, and for as much as we felt like we had prepared ourselves, it's not understandable until you live it....even then I'm not so sure. 

To an outsider, it doesn't seem we should have many problems.  Jacob is adjusting well socially and emotionally.  We can love all over him and he can love us back.  He even leans in for kisses and in an adorable way unique to the cleft lip child, he leans in, opens his mouth and puckers the best he can when he wants kisses.  He is also sleeping through most nights.  Huge victories and I'm sure parents everywhere are saying...."lucky you!" 

All of these feelings and challenges have forced me to take a step back and reflect on where God is when life gets so hard, especially when you have taken a journey you believe to be steeped in scripture and an outpouring of your love and obedience to Him.  Thankfully, this mental journey is not a hard one and I have never questioned where God might be in our struggles.  I have felt Him inside me this whole time. 

I was blessed to be a pupil of a remarkable Sunday School teacher.  There was a lot he taught that I'll never get, but two things have stuck with me and changed my Christian worldview.  The first was about the catastrophic effects of sin entering the world.  When man first sinned and was kicked out of the garden, it affected not only human beings but all of nature.  Until the world once again becomes as God intended, we will never be free of evil, cancer, earthquakes, hate, violence, broken families....the list goes on.  Sin is in this world and we will never escape it nor will we escape it's effects, whether they are a direct consequence of something we've done, or something someone else has done.     

We were meeting with our eldest son's preschool teachers for a parent conference.  Our discussion inevitably led to how he was adjusting since Jacob came along.  We shared a small part of our victories as well as our challenges and this opened up a discussion about how God works through adoptive families.  One of the teachers had a friend who had adopted older sibling pairs.  She shared that they have and still have immense challenges not only with their adoptive children, but also the effects it has had on their biological kids.  She wondered aloud why God didn't intervene due to the sacrifices of the parents.

I'll tell you what I told her.  My husband was sitting beside me and I had Jacob on my lap.  I circled my finger over the three of us and said, "We are not what God intended for Jacob.  In a perfect, sinless world, God created the family as husband and wife giving birth to their children and raising them."  That is the perfect scenario where our children would feel loved, safe, and flourish in the arms of their parents.  I then told her, "We live in a world corrupted by sin.  Sin's effects have left us with broken families and hurting children.  It doesn't make Jacob any less wanted by us and it doesn't mean that we don't think God blessed us when he was given to us, but we fully understand that in living in a sinful world, we will have to help bear the burdens and consequences that have occurred with the breakdown of Jacob's family."  These may include (but are certainly not limited to) issues of trust, abandonment, fear, neglect, and all the effects that living in an institution for 20 months can bring. 

While I'm stirring the waters a little, I want to say one more thing.  We will never tell Jacob that God created him for us.  How selfish would that be?  We wanted a child and family so God gave us what we asked for.  Now you, dear son, get to deal with the consequences that that brings such as dealing with cross cultural and identity issues, wondering if your birthdate is correct, not knowing any familial history, as well as dealing with why your birth parents did not fight to the ends of the earth for you.  Ouch!  That's reality when your adopted and certainly something he will deal with.  Why would I present a God to my son that could cause such inner turmoil because I wanted a child?  Do I believe God united Jacob with us?  Yes.  Do I believe his referral to our family was random?  Absolutely not.  It brings me comfort to know God believes we are up to the task of caring and loving Jacob with all the right and privileges of a biological child, but I don't believe God created an orphan so I could be a Mother.

What's the other thing I learned from my favorite Sunday school teacher?  That one of our goals in life should be to always pursue knowing God more and that the work done on the cross changed everything.  That's what I will tell Jacob when he wants to know about God and has questions.  That even in this world of sin, God changed everything with one sacrifice.  We are redeemed.  What does that mean?  He came and took what was His own.  That's why you were created dear one....for God.  No matter what we deal with in life.....the sins of our biological parents, our adoptive parents (the list is already pretty lengthy), and even from ourselves.....we have been redeemed.  One sacrifice for all. 

This is what I cling to that gives me hope.  Even in the midst of my struggles where I am hardest on myself for my mistakes, I can be thankful that I can keep pushing forward and keep trying to do better because I have been forgiven.  It's what will make me a good parent to my children.  It's what we all have.  The hope within us is for all.....the widower, the unemployed, the person in chronic pain......the adoptive parent.   

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."--(Romans 5:6-8)

Before I go, I want to thank everyone who has reached out to us.  Thank you for the meals....thank you for the emails.....thank you for the calls (and even the return calls when I didn't call back).....for the interest.....for the kind words.....for the authentic way you have reached into our lives and helped us know we are normal and we have hope.  You have carried us and we love you!  A quick update on Jacob: Next week we have a ton of appointments including seeing the craniofacial team, a pediatric dentist, and early intervention will be coming in to help us with his developmental needs.  We have also gotten started with a physical therapist church friend who specialized in pediatric development (you are awesome!) and she has gotten us started with a lot of good things for Jacob.  Will keep you posted!

Lean Not On Your Own Understanding

Doing a puzzle with Grandma

Our first week home with Jacob has been a roller coaster of emotions.  Dealing with jet lag and doctors appointments have almost consumed any energy and coping skills we have.  Monday was the hardest day.

Cincinnati is blessed to have the International Adoption Center (IAC) at the Cincinnati Children's Hospital.  It is comprised of a team that includes a social worker, nurse, and physician who specialize in internationally adopted children.  The physician is an adoptive Mom herself of three children.  On Monday, we had our post adopt appointment.  This consisted of a review of systems by a nurse, an evaluation by the medical doctor, an evaluation by an occupational therapist, and a visit with the therapist.  It was a long day and was topped off with one TB test, 2 shots, and 13 vials of blood drawn (yes, you read that right....13! I about died when I saw her pulling them out.) 

We received a lot of information that day and here is the summary:

Referrals: We are being referred for consultations with urology and the cleft lip and palate team which includes a plastic surgeon, ENT, and genetics specialist.  Jacob is also to have an appointment with a pediatric dentist, and receive a hearing and visual screen.  We will await results that tested for parasites in his stool and all the titres to see if his immunizations are effective (hence, all the blood drawn.) 

Developmental: Jacob is in the 12-14 month range in nearly all developmental tests with the exception of speech where he rated a very low 6 month score.  Between the differences in language and his cleft lip and palate, I can't see that the testing was reliable for our little guy (did it test what it was supposed to test?)  I imagine in about a year after starting to make sounds from the English language and actually have a palate to make those sounds, his scores will be much better.  On an up side, everyone has been impressed with his social skills and how easily he has "taken" to Chris and I. 

Body Measurements:  Jacob is near the 50th percentile for weight, 15th percentile for height, but has dropped off the scale in head circumference measurements.  We don't know what this means or why this has happened.  When we received our referral in July, his measurements placed him in the 10-15th percentile for head circumference.  Doctors say the slow down in head size (which reflects brain development) may be due to various factors including poor nutrition, poor stimulation, genetics, etc.  This was not news Chris or I had been prepared to hear. 

As you can imagine, we were overwhelmed with it all and trying to process what it meant.  We were ready for the developmental delays but not in the slow down of his body growth.  It was a difficult night.  (Thank you to our neighbors who provided dinner that night....I just didn't have the energy to cook.) 

I once again found myself back on that roller coaster of fear and doubt.  But God, in his infinite wisdom and faithfulness, placed people and his word in my life to remind me who was in control. Not a test that tells me of a multitude of developmental delays.  He's bigger than that. Not an upcoming series of surgeries that will likely last well into Jacob's adolescence.  He's bigger than that.  Not even after the crushing news that Jacob's head was not keeping up with the growth curve.  God can certainly speak more truth into my life than a silly measurement tape.  I have had to choose (and keep choosing) to lay my burdens at His feet.  And when I take them up again and realize how heavy they are, I have to remind myself to give them back.  It allows me to open my eyes to the blessings around me when all you want to do is crawl under the covers.  And open my eyes to his blessings he did...... 

• The blessings of watching Jacob figure out how to crawl down the steps and to get off a couch without pitching himself forward.  The blessings of getting him to take some slightly thicker liquids with a spoon this week.  Watching him use sign language for "Daddy" when my husband was out of the room.  Today, he actually matched a puzzle piece to the right spot.  Victories.  Small, but they are there and I don't want to miss them in my discouragement or take away the celebration of these moments because I allow fear to enter and steal my joy. 

• Our immediate family was quick to listen and remind me that this child was given to us by his Creator.  He was meant for our household and God must believe we are up to the task.  They promised me their support and their prayers and that they would love our son no matter what.  My sister told me I was a "good Mom" and my sis-in-law reminded me of my resourcefulness and had faith that I was already researching brain building activities and food on the internet (Guilty!)

• A new "Preschool Mom" friend was touching base with me outside the classroom and a conversation that began innocent enough gave me a platform to share my struggles with the news we had heard the day prior.  She told me of two of her friends who courageously fought for their children who had great medical needs.  As we shared tears together she reminded me of the power of a Mother's love.  A reminder I needed to hear. 

• Even just the blessings of a friend emailing me to tell me what a joy it was to hold our sweet baby.

They are small things but each add up to give one courage for the days ahead and joy in the present time.  I am holding tight to the verse in proverbs written below.  I will not lean on my own understanding.  I will not lean on tests and measurements.  I will trust in the Lord.....with all my heart. 


Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

Another Spin on the Carousel



Homecoming


I am always amazed at the lessons I get in my own selfishness.  Years ago as a newlywed, I came to understand in a great way how selfish I was.  One night when I was wallowing in my "misery" that I wasn't getting my way about something, I realized how unfair I was in trying to manipulate my husband to get what I wanted.  It was like God put a yield sign in front of me and said, "Look what you're doing and look at whom you're doing it to."  It was one of those gifts that changed my life and how I interact in it and with others.  It was a lesson to learn about my sinful nature but expanded exponentially my gratefulness for the cross.   

The lesson I received early in my marriage gave me no mastery of this selfish nature but it helped me to recognize it and take less spins on that carousel once I got on.  I had another real good bout of it after giving birth to my son.  I grieved heavily the loss of my independence and my choice to leave my profession to be at home. 

Jacob's first 30 hours in our home have been "challenging."  My frustrations hit their peak last night after  Jacob went down at 9:00 PM for his "nap" and awoke three hours later. He was not to hit a good deep sleep again until 7:00 AM, one hour before our other son gets up.  I took another spin on the carousel that night.  "Lord", I prayed, "I just need sleep.  How can I be the epitome of a parent that wants to bond when I am so exhausted and resenting where I am right now?"

So here I am the second night at 3:00 AM in the morning.  Jacob and I slept from 9:00 PM- 3:00 AM.  A huge victory.  Not only in the sleep but that I have gotten off the carousel.  I looked at him at 3:00 AM and said, "Good job little buddy." 

Getting off that carousel can be hard but I am thankful that I can.  I have had so much love and wisdom to get me this far:

• I have learned to forgive myself.  The redeeming work has already been done and I get to bask in it.....I have learned to grasp onto it so I don't miss the fullness this life has to offer that my inability to forgive could steal from me and my family. 

• I have surrounded myself with wise people. I have been blessed to have people that have spoken truth into my life and encouraged me.  I know genuine love from a remarkable and supportive biological family, a church family, and good friends.  It is the greatest thing in the world.

• I have adoptive friends that have been real with me.  They told me of their honest struggles and things to expect when we received Jacob.  What a remarkable gift that was.  There were times in China I looked at Jacob and thought, "I don't know if I can attach to you.  I don't know if I am selfless enough to be what you need.  What have I done?"  My friends told me these moments would come and when they did, I was able to see them for what they were.  Not a reflection of my love and dedication to Jacob but a reflection of my selfishness.  I did not wallow in the shame as I might have done had I not been prepared for these feelings. 

• I have focused on the positives.  Last night as I was praying for sleep there was some work being done.  For one, we were able to sit and be in the same room with the dog without screaming in fear (I think we may have even let her get a few sniffs in!).  Jacob and I also had some time alone to explore the house, play with a few toys and understand each other a little better. 

I know I will get back on that carousel again.  ("I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. Romans 7:15")  By the Grace of God, I have received the ability to get off. 

Welcome Home

Welcome Home

Tonight as you lie sleeping

For the first time in your bed,

There must be something lasting

And profound that should be said.

But as your face is gazed upon

Framed by your soft, shiny hair

No words can tell or quite express

The feelings that we share.

The wait is finally over

You're home, at last, to stay.

And there will always be the memories

Of the joy that filled this day.

With a love that's running over

By the sight of you alone

Welcome home, dear cherished one,

At long last....welcome home!

~Author Unknown

Coming Home

Our time in China has come to an end.  Many of my posts have been about what we've done and who we've met.  I wanted to dedicate this post while here to the little boy we came to get....Jacob.  Each day, as we all get to know each other better, we are showing more of our "true colors."  Every day has been a whole new discovery in who he is, and how we fit together as a family.  Here's what I have learned in the 1 1/2 weeks about our newest family member......
 

• He communicates very well.  Almost from day one he has been a "talker" (Heather- not so sure I'm going to get the verbal child break we were anticipating!)   Between Chris and I working with him on some basic sign language (signs for bottle, more, Mommy, and Daddy) and learning Jacob's different sounds and schedule, we have started to communicate in a way I believe has exponentially allowed us to bond.   Language and the ability to understand each other is so powerful!  He imitates us and has picked up on much cueing with little difficulty.  I remember the first time Jacob looked at me, pointed at something that interested him, and then verbally made a noise to indicate his interest.  A huge wave of relief flooded through me and I thought, "Okay, we can do this."   
• He loves mirrors and books!  Between looking at pictures and just the amazement that flipping pages brings, books have brought us not only great bonding opportunities, but has let Chris and I eat our dinner while Jacob played in his highchair.  "Goodnight Moon" immediately became our favorite bedtime book!
• Jacob loves to explore!  I was expecting some sensory processing difficulties but he loves to play so much that he overcomes a lot of this through his curiosity.  He retreated his hands the first time I washed them but after setting him back on the ground, he wanted to try it again.  The bath was a breeze because splashing water is too much fun (of course stacking cups in the bath water were also a huge draw!)  His fingers go into everything and grab everything from knives off the table to outlets.  I have forgotten what it's like to have a 20 month old!
• Jacob has no sense of safety.  He'd plunge head first off the bed and down a set of stairs if we let him.  I think I remember this is normal for this age but I suspect there was little "danger" in the orphange environment so our boundaries are much different.
• He is a snuggler!  The child will not go to sleep if he is not on you.  Mind you, not just lying beside you.  He must be on your chest.  I'm certain I will pay for this later but it has been so wonderful to snuggle up with him during our time in China.  I am thankful that once asleep, we have been able to transfer him into his crib with relative ease.
• His cleft lip and palate can be very entertaining:  He can clean out the inside of his nose.  A rare talent!  Another thing we have fallen in love with and will miss after his surgeries are the way the sides of his upper lip wing out when he smiles.  It makes us laugh! We have been thankful to be able to bring him home presurgery and know him as he was created....our beautiful son! 
• The kid has perfected the "fake" whine!  I imagine that served him well in the orhpanage and after the passivity and complacency we experienced from him the first few days as a family, we are happy to have him ask us for things!  (At least right now!)

Tomorrow we will leave China and land on US soil.  Jacob will be a US citizen as soon as he steps foot off the plane at our connection in D.C.  Our road ahead promises to be rocky with surgeries, therapies, and a new home life for all of us to adapt to.  But it's like my sister always says when we hike, "Slow and steady climbs the mountain."  If we only focus on getting to the top, we will never get the meaning that God gives us in the journey.  Six years after starting our journey to Jacob, I know this is true.  Had I not learned, listened, worshiped, and loved, I would have sat right down on the valley floor and never seen what God had wanted to teach me.  He has given us so much meaning in this life and we are blessed to be able to share this with Jacob.  This is the best legacy we can give him. 

Our beautiful son! 

 

The view from here‏

Throughout these last couple weeks, there have been some people that we have crossed paths with that have helped make our time special here.  I want to share with you some of the people and stories that have inspired us, given us hope, and made us feel like our family here in China is much bigger than we ever thought it would be...

There was the young lady we met at the civil affairs office when completing our adoption.  She was with her tiny little daughter who had a congenital heart deformity that would require surgery when she made it back to the states.  She told me she was traveling alone and her husband was home with their seven children, 4 adopted domestically and 3 from Ghana.  Her Dad would be joining her in Guangzhou to help with the long flight back to the states as her daughter would likely need to be on oxygen in flight and she was eager to have the help.  I asked her if she and her husband had to fight over who got to come to China and she said, "pretty much."  I told her she was brave and she said, "Brave or stupid."  We both laughed about that.

Then there were the multitude of American families that were at the medical checks. One child was missing her legs from her knees down and one arm.  One mom had left her husband and three sons back at the hotel room while she completed the check with their Chinese daughter with Down Syndrome.  One family in our group is adopting a 2 1/2 year old that is fully deaf in one ear and partially in the other.  Of course, there are lots of us with cleft lip and palate children.  Many adoptive families stay at the Garden Hotel here in Guangzhou as we all funnel through the American consulate.  It has been a time of celebration to take this path together and to share our stories.  

 

There are the Mengels from our agency who will hopefully be traveling in the next two months to pick up their son, Samuel, who is also from our orphanage.  We have been in contact with them since receiving our referrals and as soon as they learned we were making a visit to the orphanage, they asked us to keep an eye out for their son.  The day of our tour we were almost finished.  I was alone in the room where our kids played and I remembered that I was supposed to look for him.  I went back to the crib room and there was Samuel who had stayed in the room while the other children had crossed the hall with the nannies to another playroom.  It was like he was waiting for me to find him so his Mom and Dad could see his pictures.  I snapped some adorable shots of him on a rocking horse.  The Mengels were so excited to have the pics that night and I was so happy I found him.  It's what we do.  Adoptive families.  We are always looking forward and backward in what we can do to help each other.    

 

 There was the Chinese gentleman who stopped at our breakfast table one morning and said, "You adopting?"  He could not take his eyes off Jacob. He then asked if we would be repairing his lip.  I said "yes" and he began to cry.  He said, "I get very emotional.  I'm glad he will go to a good home.  You are good to take him."  I told him we were blessed.  He said, as he touched my shoulder, "Yes, you are blessed."  

 

We met Amy, one of our adoption agency's Chinese coordinators while in Beijing.  She was telling us she commutes 2 hours one way to come to work but talked about how much meaning she found in what she does.  I asked what she did with her time while on the train and she said, "On the way in, I read my Bible, on the way home, I read something else."  She is one of my Chinese sisters in Christ.  

 

There is the family from Washington state that stopped us in the lobby.  They are adopting two cleft lip children while here in China, and have one biological son that had it also (they will have a total of 9 children after their time in China- 5 bios, 4 adopted.)  The wife told me how jealous she was ours was not yet repaired as she wanted another "crack" at the surgeries from the beginning.  We laughed and shared stories and she gave me lots of advice.  It is clear they are passionate about the orphan and feel God has called them to bring home their children.  Their stories of God's faithfulness brought tears to my eyes.   

 

There are many of you who have emailed from home.  Sending me pictures and telling me stories that have made us remember that we would be home soon and that we would be loved.  Thank you.  For as good as our time together has been in China, our hearts have pined for the familiarity, family, and friends that home promises. 

 

Of course, the ones I have met that have left the greatest impressions are the orphans themselves.  There was the little boy in Jacob's orphanage that sat in a tiny chair looking forlorn in the corner.  He had been dropped off that day by a police officer.  I'd say he was about 3, my biological son's age.  Each orphan we have met on the street, in our travel group, or in the hotel lobby has a story.  Some come from rich foster environments and others from cold environments where they lived in terror.  They are all survivors and I respect each one of them and pray they will thrive in their new homes.   

 

The experiences have been rich with love as well as pain.  It is clear that God wants to set the lonely in families (Psalms 68:6) and meeting some of those families has given me fuel and inspiration for the journey ahead.  We are not alone.  We are sisters and brothers who want to serve in an arena God has called us to.  It is not easy, and some of the kids we have seen will have much longer roads than others.  We are blessed with what God has revealed to us while here about His nature and about His people.

"Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows."

Isaiah 1:17