I was thinking back on this journey to Jacob the other day and wondering what I will tell him when he asks me why we decided to adopt. Why did we decide to adopt? It is a really good question. Even with the exciting and unexpected news of our pregnancy with our oldest son four years ago, the first words out of our mouth (after our initial awe and celebration) was that we would continue to move forward in our adoption process. It was as natural a result to us as breathing, but we were still asked by many if we would still be adopting. Signing our names to the dotted lines of our initial paperwork was as much a "conception" experience in our minds as making a child through natural means. The saying in adoption that one's child is not grown in a belly but in one's heart was just about right! So I return to my original question: Why did we decide to adopt and build our family in this way and why did this path seem so natural?
Was it when I was a teenager and realized I might not be able to have children due to a genetic anomaly?
Was it when I shared this news with my husband (who was then my boyfriend) and we both agreed that we wanted to partner and be parents together in life and it did not matter how we made that family?
Was it when we went through years of trying to naturally conceive a child without success?
Was it when we received two negative pregnancy results after two failed IVF attempts?
No, I can't say any of that was "the reason" we have stubbornly set our heart and minds to a process that has been wrought with delays, steep financial commitments, self sacrifice and delayed gratification. The desire to adopt was placed in my heart, not by my mere human experiences, failures, and interactions, but by One who has redeemed what was rightfully his own. When I was in grade school, I gave my life to Christ and accepted Him as my Lord and Savior. As I have grown, studied his word, and "known" Him more, I have given myself over to Him. I believe the peace given to us through this process is a product of Christ within me that has given us the strength and surety of our path. It is as if my mind and body were given over to a force greater than anything I could handle alone and without a Deity involved. The desire is as old as time itself. God caring for His own and redeeming what is His. He has used us, as imperfect as we are to open our lives and bring us to a place where Jacob can have a home, and we can have the family we have always wanted. It is a miraculous partnering when we open up ourselves in obedience to Christ.
It is this partnering that will give us courage to board the plane November 1st. To leave one son behind while we go get another (I do believe it will be the first time I will experience my heart being torn in two!) We can hardly contain our excitement! We have been busy with getting our home ready for our new arrival, filling out, sending, and organizing our paperwork, packing for the trip of our life, and thanking the good Lord for all He has done! I am amazed at the community of adoptive parents out there that have reached out in support by sending us packing lists, giving us advice on travel, celebrating this "romantic" period with all the excitement it brings, and genuinely walking in support beside us! You are an amazing group and I thank God for you!
We have little left to do in the way of "official" appointment arranging and paperwork. We are awaiting the arrival of our Visas and last travel packet from our agency. The rest of these three weeks will fly as we pack, and make arrangements to leave Ethan with his Grandparents for two weeks. Keep your prayers coming! I can see God's hand in even the smallest of details.....this week we learned that we will be traveling with a family from Arkansas for the entire two weeks we will be in China as their daughter will be coming from the same orphanage: The Child Welfare Institute of Wei Nan City in Shaanxi Province! With the slow down in Chinese adoptions, the guarantee of having a travel group had ceased so we are very excited to be traveling with them! Even yesterday, more answered prayers as someone at church had been specifically praying for us that Jacob would be home by Christmas! I have often said that some of you have prayed for me in times when I was weary of praying. Thank you for filling in the gap my Christian friends....even now, you continue to do so!
I suspect as we wrangle with the challenges ahead, of bringing together a blended and multicultural family, I will find strength in knowing that this was God's design for our family.....this beautiful pairing of a child that needs a family, and a family that wants that child with all their heart. It's as natural as breathing.
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