Hurry up and....wait.

Hurry up and wait.  It is a common practice for those of us waiting to adopt, and this week did not disappoint.  In the span of 5 days we received travel approval from China (yea!), made our appointment at the American Consulate, booked our international flights, and sent away applications for our Visas!  Now........we wait. 

Waiting.  The word has taken on a whole new meaning to me in the last 6 years.  I wish I had a nickel for every time I told someone we were "still waiting."  The length of our wait even inspired me to make myself a T-shirt online that said: "L.I.D (Long, Irrational Delay)."  For those of you a little behind on your China adopt lingo, L.I.D. stands for "Log In Date".  It's the date we were placed into the Chinese computer and started our "wait".  I'll be happy to never say that word again in reference to our adoption.  I'm ready for the wait to be over and have Jacob in our arms. 

But one thing I can say without a doubt, I wouldn't trade a minute of waiting to miss what God has shown me through this time.  Mostly, it has been a lesson of trust, dependence, and perseverance.  To stray from this course at any time was never a consideration in our mind.  The strength of our resolve and the blessings of this sweet time with the Lord allowed an intimacy with Him I wouldn't have known otherwise.

An encouraging church friend wrote me this week after reading my last post and said 2 Tim 1:7 came to his mind, "For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline." He then went on to say, "Do not let your fear make you timid.  Remember our God is one of power and love.  You have practiced a lot of self-discipline to get where you are at this time so continue to rely on God." After reading that, I thought, "He's right!  How did I so quickly let go of 6 years of faithful waiting and the lessons I have learned, in the face of this new fear?"  God is faithful!  He has been, He is, and He will be....no matter what! 

I remember a very poignant time during our wait that has gotten me through many long days.  Chris and I were sitting in the movie theater July of 2008 watching the movie "Fireproof."  We were 16 months into an adoption wait that was "supposed" to be only 18 months long.  We were beginning to see the handwriting on the wall.....that the China adoption program had put on the brakes....okay, more like come to a halt and we were beginning to feel the emotional burden of this unknown.  While watching the movie that night, a song called, "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller, came on.  I would have sworn he had written it for me and meant for me to hear it that night.  Sitting in the theater, sobbing quietly, I resolved that no matter how long I would wait, I would continue to serve the Lord with a loving and faithful heart and I would hold no bitterness while doing so.  I opened my life to whatever He wanted to teach me during that time. And teach me He did.  He taught me about a Love that goes beyond anything I could ever want.  One that could fill any hole I could ever have, and could make this wait a joyful and promise filled one. 

I think we are always waiting for something.  Let's not let the work of the Lord and the joy He wants us to know in this world pass us by while we wait.  May the words I heard that night speak also to your hearts: 

While I'm Waiting :

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord