While visiting the Terra Cotta Warriors was a wonderful
cultural tour of part of China's history, on Thursday, we made a journey
for Jacob's history. We searched for his finding place. Chinese are
not allowed to place their children up for adoption. Should there be a
reason they cannot care for their children, they must abandon them
somewhere. Jacob was found outside the gate of a middle school. The
thought is that most parents abandon their children in a busy public
place, where they will be found and cared for. It brings some comfort
in being able to tell one's child that their parents gave some thought
to this. Our guide was telling us that could Chinese families afford
care for their children born to them with special needs, then they would
not abandon them. I feel for Jacob's birth Mom. Making a decision to
let him go so he could get the care he needed....I'm certain she had no
idea even how to feed him. I join many adoptive parents from China in
hopes that someday there will be a safe way for these Chinese parents to
come out of hiding so their children can find them. This would require
the government to choose not to punish familes for abandoning their
children. In the meantime, we as adoptive parents try to piece together
as best we can our child's history, and finding his "finding place" is
one piece of his puzzle.
It was a long day.....8 hours in the car, 30 minutes of
which was spent outside. We traveled with the Lopez family who has
adopted a daughter, Ailani, from the same orphanage. We started with
their finding place first. A small village in the mountains. Our
guide, Sherri (who might just be the best adoption travel guide in the
world!), advised that should they decide to get out of the car to get
pictures with their daughter, that she should hold her.....foreigners
were one thing but foreigners holding a Chinese child was a whole
different story. Ailani's finding place was a little less specific.
They only know that she was found somewhere in the village.
We then headed to the town where we would find the middle
school gate that Jacob was found on 3/5/11. Recess was just beginng so
the school yard was full of children. I wondered if Jacob would have
gone to school there. His finding place was very specific and there was
only one gate to the entrance of the school. It was a meanigful moment
for Chris and I. Chris hopped out and filmed while our guide got out
with our camera to investigate the area. She came back to the van and
said she thought it was okay that I get out with Jacob to get some
pictures. We must have been a very unusual site when four adults and
one baby get out and start filming everything in a 360 degree radius.
After some pictures with Jacob, I got back in the van while Chris,
Sherri, and our new friend, Gilberto Lopez took some more pictures.
Gilberto even thought to grab me a few leaves from the area to press in a
book and Chris found a rock. We were definitely drawing a crowd and I
was just happy to sit in the van with Jacob and try to take it all in.
People were busy working in the streets, and a lady was selling some
type of candy treat outside the school. The Chinese flag flew over the
school and there was a beautiful Pagoda in the schoolyard. The
wonderful sounds of kids laughing and playing at recess with their
beautiful asian smiles just added to the time. It was a happy place,
not the somber experience I was expecting. I tried to envision so many
unknowable things about the day Jacob was found....how cold was
it?.....was it still dark out?....did he wait for long?....did his
birthmom wait around a corner to see if he was found?....did he
cry?....was he hungry? So many questions we will never know. Another
puzzle to his life that has been added but so many others will likely
never be known. Perhaps Jacob will care, perhaps he won't. Perhaps we
will return to this school with him someday, perhaps we won't. It's
hard to know what will be important to Jacob, or what he will need. On
the ride back through town, as we descended a mountain, I felt very
grateful for the day God had given me. I don't believe I even shed one
tear. It was just such a blessing to be able to do this for him, and
for us and we were ever so thankful that we are the last to "find" him.
No comments:
Post a Comment